How to build your divorce support system
No man or woman is an island. When going through a difficult transition, such as the death of a loved one or a period of unemployment, having people to lean on can help you adjust and leave you stronger in the end. A divorce is no different.
A robust support system can be especially needed when you go through a divorce. Even if you initiated proceedings, getting divorced can be highly emotional and traumatic at times. Trying to deal with your feelings by yourself is very difficult and can get in the way of making the best possible decisions for yourself and your children. Instead, having people to turn to when you need advice or just feel like venting can help you get through the rough patches. If nothing else, you won’t have to go through this alone.
Who should be in my support system?
Both professionals and people in your social circle can take on this role for you if they are willing, able and would make good candidates. Common members of a divorce support system can include:
- A therapist or counselor
- A divorce coach, who is someone who is a professional at guiding clients through the divorce process
- Your best friends
- Your minister, rabbi or other religious leader
- Family members you are close to, such as your parents, siblings or cousins (not your children)
- An experienced family attorney
Also, there might be a divorce support group that meets near you. Hearing other people discuss their experiences with divorce, property division, child custody and so on — and sharing your own — can help put things in perspective and give you new strategies for handling your issues.
It’s no shame to need people during a major, long-term event like divorce. Once you have completed your divorce and adjusted to your new life, you can be a rock for someone else who needs it.