Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLCNelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLC2024-02-07T07:10:12Zhttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/feed/atom/WordPressOn Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=503932023-12-19T15:48:23Z2023-12-19T15:48:23ZFor many parents with young children, sharing parenting time is the biggest challenge of a divorce. Parents used to being with their children 24/7 often struggle to adjust to a shared custody arrangement with their former spouse. They hate the idea of only spending some of the time with their children.
The challenges associated with shared custody can be magnified on special days like holidays and birthdays. No parent wants to miss out on a big Christmas celebration or a child's sweet 16 birthday party. With both parents hoping to be present on special days, conflict can easily arise and mar those special occasions.How can those negotiating shared custody arrangements address the holidays?
Have a plan for special days.
Most custody orders include provisions for holidays, birthdays and other special events. There are a variety of ways for the parents in the family to handle special days. Most often, parents choose an alternating holiday schedule. Typically, holidays are designated by even and odd years and are allocated in a fair and equitable manner. For example, the parties may alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Or one parent may have Memorial Day and the other parent has Labor Day and reverse those days in the next year.Other times, the parents may agree to split or share the holidays. The children spend the morning with one parent and the evening with the other.Parents can negotiate with one another and reach their own custody arrangements that a lawyer can help them to formalize. Lawyers can also offer helpful insight in developing holiday placement arrangements. If parents cannot agree, they may need to take a matter to family court. Typically, people require support when negotiating with their spouse. They need to learn about the law and will require assistance when discussing the details of co-parenting. As holidays are often an emotional issue for parents, it can also be very difficult for a parent to remain calm and reasonable in court. An emotional outburst can hurt their chances of the best possible outcome.Obtaining the right legal support when negotiating crucial custody matters can help parents to better ensure that they can spend the quality time they want with their children without disregarding their co-parent’s rights in the process.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=503622023-09-25T19:42:59Z2023-09-25T19:42:59Zuses social media is a perfect example. Most people tend to freely share about their personal lives on social media without any censorship, but doing so could result in real challenges for someone preparing for a divorce.
How might someone's social media use influence the outcome of Wisconsin divorce proceedings?
It can exacerbate conflict between spouses
It is certainly fast and efficient to share one's perspective on the divorce or one's grievances about the marriage on social media where dozens of people can read what someone has to say. However, that reach is part of what makes social media so dangerous. One spouse may feel like the other has engaged in intentional defamation. They may become angry about what the other spouse posts on social media, which may increase the conflict between the spouses as they start preparing for divorce.
Social media use can become evidence
Everything that someone does on social media, from the posts they share publicly to the private messages they sent to friends could end up becoming part of the evidence presented in divorce proceedings. Social media use can show that one spouse stalked or threatened the other. It could help prove an extramarital affair or show that someone has engaged in drug and alcohol misuse, which could influence how the courts rule on custody matters.
Individuals and attorneys sometimes use publicly available information from social media as part of court proceedings. Other times, the discovery process might include social media accounts, which might make even private and deleted content available to the other party.
Many people simply stop using social media during their divorce, as no amount of privacy settings can truly protect what someone shares online. Understanding how social media may impact a Wisconsin divorce can help those thinking about filing to better protect themselves by employing more informed and thoughtful personal practices online.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=501982023-04-20T14:14:35Z2023-04-19T21:02:41Zrobust support system can be especially needed when you go through a divorce. Even if you initiated proceedings, getting divorced can be highly emotional and traumatic at times. Trying to deal with your feelings by yourself is very difficult and can get in the way of making the best possible decisions for yourself and your children. Instead, having people to turn to when you need advice or just feel like venting can help you get through the rough patches. If nothing else, you won't have to go through this alone.
Who should be in my support system?
Both professionals and people in your social circle can take on this role for you if they are willing, able and would make good candidates. Common members of a divorce support system can include:
A therapist or counselor
A divorce coach, who is someone who is a professional at guiding clients through the divorce process
Your best friends
Your minister, rabbi or other religious leader
Family members you are close to, such as your parents, siblings or cousins (not your children)
An experienced family attorney
Also, there might be a divorce support group that meets near you. Hearing other people discuss their experiences with divorce, property division, child custody and so on -- and sharing your own -- can help put things in perspective and give you new strategies for handling your issues.
It's no shame to need people during a major, long-term event like divorce. Once you have completed your divorce and adjusted to your new life, you can be a rock for someone else who needs it.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=487422022-08-19T00:38:52Z2022-08-19T00:38:52ZOne spouse may have a better picture of household finances than the other.
Especially when a couple has been married for some time, they may each have taken on specific roles in the household. This can leave you without a clear picture of your savings, debts and other financial details if your spouse has acted as the primary person managing household funds during your marriage. If it has been some time since you handled these affairs, it may take additional time and effort to collect information and get a clear picture of your household assets and debt.
Approaching retirement makes savings and benefits more important.
While younger couples may have only started saving for their retirement, older couples have generally made much more significant investments. However, if that long-term plan was made based on the needs of a married couple, dividing retirement savings and pensions between two households may fall short of what they need.
Older people also have less time before retirement — if they have not retired already — to rebuild their retirement savings to suit this new direction in life. This can make dividing retirement savings more contentious than it is for younger couples.
Healthcare can be a more significant — and costly — concern for older people.
Many older people find that their health is a more pressing concern, and that can lead to a number of questions during the divorce process. If you previously received health insurance through your spouse’s policy, how will you pay for care after your divorce? What is your plan for long-term care? Carefully considering these questions can be a key part of protecting your financial health in the future.
While older people often face unique financial concerns when ending their marriage, it is possible to create a strategy that reflects those concerns and supports your needs. Our attorneys have a long history of helping people in and around Milwaukee and Waukesha find a way forward during divorce and are experienced at handling complex financial concerns. Please do not hesitate to reach out to our lawyers if you have further questions.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=485832022-01-22T03:23:09Z2022-01-22T03:23:09ZHow are retirement benefits addressed in a Wisconsin divorce?
While your name may be the only one on a 401(k) or other retirement savings account, that does not mean your benefits are off-limits to your spouse.
In Wisconsin, you and your spouse both have a claim to all property in your marriage—including your retirement savings. As a result, in most cases, the court will divide your retirement accounts alongside the money in your bank account and other property. Except for gifted or inherited property, the division of your assets is required to be equal unless the court determines that another arrangement is fair and equitable based on a number of factors that the court must consider. There are a number of factors that would allow a court to consider something other than an equal division and you should speak to a lawyer about the facts of your specific case to see if any of the factors apply to your situation.
In addition to splitting your retirement savings between you and your spouse, the court may also divide pension plans in divorce. As the Wisconsin Department of Employee Trust Funds points out, courts may grant your spouse up to 50 percent of your pension benefits in a divorce.
How can you minimize the impact of a divorce on your retirement assets?
If your objective in a divorce is to keep your retirement accounts intact, you may be able to accomplish this objective by offsetting your retirement from another asset. For example, you may allow your spouse to keep the family home in exchange for retirement benefits with a similar value. It is important to discuss a potential offset with a lawyer because retirement accounts each have their own nuances and tax consequences that make it challenging to ensure you are agreeing to an equal exchange.
If a division of your retirement is unavoidable, it is important to understand that the division can be accomplished without any taxes or penalties being incurred by either party. The implementation of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) would accomplish a division (in whatever percentage is agreed upon or ordered) without either party experiencing a taxable event.
Retirement division and offsets are complicated. While your divorce may impact your retirement savings, there are options available to minimize the long-lasting impact of divorce on your retirement. Call [nap_names id="FIRM-NAME-1"] at [nap_phone id="LOCAL-REGULAR-NUMBER-2"] to schedule a free consultation with one of our attorneys to discuss all of your options to ensure you come out of a divorce in the best financial position possible.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=483462022-01-19T18:58:35Z2022-01-19T18:54:11Zhighlighted by the National Institutes of Health states 40 to 70% of children experience the divorce of their parents. This is not uncommon and we can help our children move forward and thrive after the divorce.
How can we address our children's mental health when we as parents get divorced?
When building this co-parenting relationship, three steps we as parents can take to help build our children’s mental health include:
Honesty. Do not shy away from conversations with your children. Be open about the fact that some things will change during the divorce but reiterate that the children are loved and both parents are there for them. It is also important not to speak ill of the other parent or of the details of the divorce action. Remember, this child is connected to both of you and may take ill comments about the other parent personally.
Availability. Do your best to be available to the children. This could include dedicated time or just making the most of the small moments that present themselves throughout the day.
Assistance. We cannot do it all. Reach out to a confidant, therapist or mental health professional if you or your children are feeling frustrated, depressed or anxious. It is important to model these steps for our children, so they see that we value mental health or to address any issues your children may be having.
Although judges will look to the best interests of the children, parents can further help to better ensure a child custody and placement (visitation) plan that achieves these goals for their children by drafting a plan for their own, specific situation. Working with the other parent to protect your children is the best way to ensure that they survive a divorce with minimal impact on their emotional and mental health.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=483342021-12-21T19:52:47Z2021-11-16T01:12:00Za recent case that illustrated the power a judge holds when deciding if a couple can legally divorce.
A recent Kentucky case
Earlier this year, a couple who took several steps to resolve their differences met in court for what they thought would be the conclusion of their imminent divorce. The couple was separated for over a year and had attempted counseling to work through their differences four times.
When they went to court, the judge saw their ability to be civil with each other and their willingness to work together to parent their child. In this case, the judge was not convinced that the marriage was not beyond saving and asked the couple to give counseling another try.
Additionally, when the judge ordered the couple to attend more counseling to resolve their issues, it was not a final order. When an order like this is not “final,” there is no option for either party to file a formal appeal.
Could this happen in Wisconsin?
Similar to Wisconsin, Kentucky is a no-fault state. A judge merely needs to find the marriage to be “irretrievably broken” to grant a divorce. However, if the parties have not been separated for more than a year and one party believes the marriage is not irretrievably broken, then the court can extend the divorce for a minimum of 30 days, but a maximum of 60 days to allow the couple time to evaluate the likelihood of reconciliation. Furthermore, the court also has the ability to order counseling in Wisconsin.
For the most part, this case seems to be an outlier. Typically, when a divorcing couple agrees on divorce and is willing to work together to resolve the child custody and other issues, it is a positive step toward a peaceful divorce.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=482662021-10-12T16:13:07Z2021-10-18T14:00:37Zone in four of all divorces involve a couple over the age of 50.
Whether you want to either prepare yourself for your divorce or try and prevent it, you first need to be able to identify its approach. To help you do this, here are four signs that a divorce may be coming in your marriage:
Unhappiness
One of the most popular signs of a coming divorce is spousal unhappiness. It is one thing for a couple to have an argument for a few days or even a week or two, but if a couple has been unhappy for months or years, it may be a sign of something more serious at hand.
Avoidance
If you find yourself avoiding your partner or suspecting that they are avoiding you, it can be a sign of something worse than wanting alone time. Avoidance can also occur after extended periods of non-communication.
The romance is gone
Spouses may be the most surprised to receive divorce papers when there is no fighting, unhappiness or avoidance. Even if a marriage is working smoothly in terms of communication and cohabitation, it may not last much longer if there is no romance involved.
Changes in intimacy
Most people suspect a divorce may be possible if intimacy vanishes all of a sudden, but the opposite may also be true. If your spouse is uncharacteristically more intimate with you, it may be for several reasons. They could be in denial about how they really feel and are trying to jump-start their emotions, or they may even feel guilty about an extra-marital relationship and try to make it up to you.
What can you do if you spot the signs?
If you suspect that a divorce may in the future, you need to act fast. Initiating a dialogue with your spouse about the signs may be a good start if you want to avoid a divorce, but if you decide to prepare for one, contact an experienced divorce attorney immediately.]]>On Behalf of Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=482912021-10-12T16:04:33Z2021-10-12T16:03:37Znew style of parenting.
Wanting what is best does not always look the same
In general, you and your spouse want many of the same things for your children. You want them to be happy and healthy and kind. You also want them to develop good habits like doing their homework and eating their vegetable.
Typically, the issue arises when it comes time to decide how to encourage children to have the positive traits you hope for.
When you and your spouse disagree about your parenting styles, try to start the conversation by understanding their perspective. When you can start from a place where you are assuming positive intentions, you are more likely to reach an agreement on how to foster your children's growth.
Strive for balance
Parents often have a challenging time adjusting to changing custody. Typically, the tilt toward extremes of checking in too often when the children are with the other parent or still seeming checked out when it is time to have custody again.
Aim to only check in with your children when they (or their other parent) need something. On the other hand, try to pick up where you left off with them last time when it is your time to have custody.
Balance can help you and your children adjust to your new normal. If you are unsure where you are at in achieving balance, look at how your children respond to your actions.
The longer you and your spouse co-parent, the more you will learn to collaborate and advocate for your children, even when you no longer live together.]]>by Nelson, Krueger & Millenbach, LLChttps://www.nkmfamilylaw.com/?p=481862021-09-24T21:45:37Z2021-09-29T12:00:18Zneed to know about property division, including how to prepare for negotiations. Here are a few tips you can use to benefit your property division process:
Value your assets
Before you begin negotiations over the house, car or boat, make sure you know what they are worth. The price you paid when you bought it may not accurately reflect its current value. Make sure to properly appraise your assets so you can negotiate over accurate figures. This includes your home, pensions or other assets which sometimes are difficult to value. An experienced divorce attorney will know how to handle these types of issues.
Have a goal in mind
Before you enter negotiations over your assets, have a few specific goals in mind of what you want to keep in your divorce. These goals can help you keep focused on the task at hand rather than get swept away in heated arguments in the negotiations.
Remain flexible
While having goals in mind is good, do not cling too tightly to them. If you are adamant about keeping your motorcycle, you may find yourself giving up more than you should during negotiations.
Avoid hiding assets
Hiding specific assets from negotiations may seem like the best way to protect your assets, but it may wind up costing you more than you were trying to save. Lawyers know how to look for hidden assets and will likely find any wealth you were trying to hide from the division process.
Let an attorney help you
Even if you and your spouse are attempting to have a non-conflict divorce, make sure you have an attorney assist you in your divorce process. An attorney's guidance can also help you prepare yourself for property division and develop a strategy that protects your best interests.]]>